One Year

One Year

 

since my little sister passed through

to the next dimension

 

Lynn,

my heart still aches

and my ears still yearn

to hear the sound of your voice

 

I miss embracing you

honouring you

in this embodied journey

 

when I wear something you envisioned

and brought into form

when I look at a picture you drew

hanging framed on my wall

 

the beauty of all your creations

 

A sister intimacy

no one else can ever know

the impact of our ‘roles’

within the broken familial structure

 

we each survived

 

no one  can ever

understand our perceptions

who we were and who we have become

 

I long to share more of

the “what’s new” in our lives

while appreciating our individual evolving wisdoms

 

your unique presence

a gift in my life

 

love you always sis

 

© R.A. Roberts

A Seed on the Grave

Polarized

 

unbalanced

incomprehensible

 

the psyche’s fight to it’s own death

 

only unarmored

 

can I find the centre of

this storm

and the next

 

in not realizing the wounding in my own history

 

I can not possibly understand

its impact in my interactions with others

 

ignorance and innocence

is not a choice

 

I need to stand in

the vulnerability of being human

 

listen

witness

discord and anger

pain and grief

 

their story

 

I cry out for lost innocence

 

to fight another is to disregard

my own unrecognized inner turmoil

a discomfort not yet safe to be known

 

Standing up

 

my heart and compassion intact

I can speak a coherent message

 

no guarantee of being heard

 

I offer this new seed

to the grave

of my ancestors

born to heal

 

it starts

©R.A.Roberts

We choose “Oui”

My heart pounding

my survival fear activated

 

remembering

the environmental powerlessness

where any choice may not be the right one

relationships repeatedly misconstrued

by societies imperial conditioning

 

having experienced

abuse by numerous systems

 

the unchanged resurfaces

 

a re-traumatizing trigger

reminds me again of

my own humanness

 

horror

shock

disbelief

vulnerability

 

momentarily overriding my thought processes

 

confused by

interpretations

reactions

 

my cognitive brain kicks in

 

recognizing

how

in these unfiltered  layers

 

there creates

a perceived need for self defence

both real and imagined

 

the ensuing

results

 

deem differences

as the dominating focus

 

can We

step back

pause

 

an essential prerequisite

to sort through and revise

our accepted patterns

of conscious and unconscious

behaviours and judgements

 

are We willing to

uncover

shed old beliefs

casting off righteousness

 

to recognize each person’s

inherent value

innocence

 

an ongoing challenge to

becoming more present

to find the centre of each storm

 

the reality

that We are all made of

flesh and blood

 

sharing equal rights

to know

love

to be in life’s fullness in breath

 

trusting the song within

led by our gentle heartbeat

 

simultaneously

returning to

and arising out of

life’s beginning

 

undefended

 

choose “Oui”

 

© R.A. Roberts

This poem is in response to Trevor Noah’s response to: http://www.ctv.ca/The-Daily-Show-with-Trevor-Noah/Video/S2E123-Wednesday-June-21-2017-vid1148316

I Weep

I weep

 

for all that has been

broken

forgotten

repressed

suppressed

 

in not remembering

 

losses distort

perception

resulting in

anger

righteousness

a need for control

 

to make things

‘feel’ safe

 

I reflect

 

what was the moment

of disconnection

 

knowing something was wrong

 

how do we find

truth

ruth

 

venturing into

the murky layers

of forgotten memories

 

back to a place inside

when there was

no choice

 

to ensure

survival

 

imperative

to construct

to make sense of

 

a reality that

still unconsciously

demands

reinforces

its beliefs and values

 

a part

a structure

a pattern

created by necessity

 

adapting

its valiant effort

 to maintain safety

in the external holding environment

 

I weep

 

for all the lost years

searching for

love respect dignity

 

life begins with love

 

not necessarily meaning

a parent’s  definition of love

 

as they may hold a

 spoken or unspoken agenda

current and ancestral wounds

a predetermined overlay

 

or no plan

 

consciously or unconsciously

impacting new life

 

So where does love begin

I ask myself

 

I believe

each new being

breathing into life

 is here

 

to

remind parents

open their hearts

grow

 

a relationship

softening yet strengthening

their bond

 

creating a space for

potential healing

unexpected miracles

 

love

is always here

 

our soul

yearning for wholeness

 

searches for

returning to

 

light before thought

quiet before action

oneness before separation

 

birth and death

meet in essence

 

we become peace

 

we are love

 

I weep

 

© Ruth Roberts

Shape Shifting

being shaped embryologically

by our parents and ancestry

 

instilled through cellular memory

 

wavelengths

shortened or lengthened

 

our body’s and mind’s agility

impacted

 

influencing

the way we think and interact

 

reaffirmed through conditioning

establishing a ‘norm’

 

reverberating in

the collective unconscious

 

until we know its relationship within

we are unknowingly in reaction

 

from that which has been acceptable in our individual communities

each societies deemed ‘proper way’ to behave

 

how can we truly know the ground we stand upon

how can we understand and respond from our heart

 

a place that promotes universal harmony

respectful of the essential qualities of being

that we all are birthed of and into

 

unless willing to commit to

an uncompromising and unending internal review of

all that has been established as the status quo

 

protecting what may appear to serve us but

not serving our planetary living beating heart

 

making a choice to enter

into the fear

 

the possibility

we may not know the answer

 

trusting to venture

into the dark night of the soul

 

as the veil lifts

 

we discover

 

a light at the end of the tunnel

returning to our

interlinking connections

 

gathering in our

understanding  wisdom  grace

 

in this

we serve all

 

By Ruth Roberts